I can now say that… I finally did it! I’ve been dreaming about a youtube channel for months and now I have finally started posting. I’m till pretty inactive here on the blog but I’m thinking to upload a few recipes soon. First I want to post a few videos on the channel and then I’m going to split my working time more evenly on the channel and the blog.

So that’s a plus. But where there’s a plus there’s also a minus…

Lately I’ve been struggeling with my body image. I know that many anorexics struggle with that they think they’re getting fat during recovery. That is not my exact problem. I think I look to perfect. It’s hard to love my body and know that it have to change. I love it the way it is and i feel discomfortable when i suddenly can’t wrap my hand around my upper arm or when I can fit less fingers between my legs. I get so stressed. Why? I don’t want to be scary. I don’t want to be a zombie or skeleton. But I don’t know what I’ll look like when all of this is over. My fear is change. It’s not comfortable but we have do keep fighting. Almost every day I find myself telling someone “Today is a hard day…” But maybe there are no hard days right now. Maybe I’m just having a hard time? A hard period? Hard season? Then the good thing is that we all have bad Days. They come, they go. We all have them. Sick or not. But seasons? They go over. We leave them behind. I won’t struggle forever. Nobody will.

Stay strong fighters<3

 

 

Love,

Cinnamonki

Posted by:cinnamonki

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